Forever Young

Happy Birthday Mr. Blue Barn!

The Good News

 

You must change and become like little children. 

Otherwise, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3

Saturday Pictures from at the Blue Barn

The Volunteer Backlash

People are amazing.  So many exciting things happen in all sorts of places that I am never at a loss for words.  Take school for example.  So many exciting things happen in schools and if you are a nerdy little Nancy Drew like myself, all that learning and to-do lists makes me mad for it - in a good way!

Recently, I had an amazing day. I offered to help one of the teachers with an important opportunity for the juniors and seniors of our school. When you volunteer for field trip duty, you never know what the outcome is going to be. Sometimes you show up and they don't need you.  Often, you volunteer to drive or bring lunches and that is all you do.  But this time, I got to wear so many hats for the sake of the students, it was invigorating.  And it reaffirmed my outlook that our nation's youth is headed in the right direction despite the misguided role models we have handed them. {You know, Madoff, Claremont-McKenna College and our nation's politicians to name a few}.

Whilst I am grateful that our own student has finally found a learning environment that satisfies all of his needs, volunteering within the classroom at the middle and high school level can be rewarding if you can find work to do. I know what my talents are: driving, administrative duties, project preparation and proctoring or chaperoning. I am not a Team Mom, a Room Mother and I will not collect, ask for or take any money of any shape or form.  Sometimes, being of assistance at school only requires asking for money whether it is in the lunch room, in the theatre or on the playing field. I find this so frustrating.

Luckily, I may have found my niche at school. It is nice to finally have an opportunity to have a teacher-parent partnership that doesn't focus on the bad behaviour and drama that surfaces at some schools especially in the lunch room and at the social events such as productions and games. And yes, I am referring to the adult drama that surfaces in these social hotbeds.  The drama of gossip, cliques, backstabbing and socioeconomic chatter that exposes the tales of deceit, laziness and general idiocy.

Let me add to the record that I am often in the middle of some of this ridiculous, hypocritical drama - I mean really, who doesn't love a good gossip session dedicated to The Real Housewives of Our School.  But what I really want when I am at our son's school, either as a parent or a volunteer, is a day filled with laughter, good natured competition or comradery and a whole lot of learning.  As I said before, I was overly enthusiastic about the morning of volunteering I shared with the juniors and seniors.  And I hope I am asked to help out again.  So in case any of the teachers, admistrators, parents and community leaders are reading this post, here is how I would like to help:

• I volunteer becuase I want to support our school community not becuase I want special treatment for my child;
• I try very hard to put myself in other people's shoes, I will try to accomodate a varied set of needs and can be trusted with tested limits of other's strengths and weaknesses;
• I will do my best job and if I mess up, I will admit I am wrong and will try to learn how to be better the next time;
• In the same vein, I can only work with the materials you give me. Lack of communication is the root of most of the problems. Please make it very clear what you expect from me and follow up with feedback; and
• Remember that I am a human being first and that I have feelings too.  Expecting me to read your mind, withholding important information that will help the situation or insulting my intelligence will prevent our partnership from thriving.

Whilst I still have another eight or more years to volunteer in the classroom -  I am here to strengthen the relationship between parent and teacher.  Reach out in a positive way and we can accomplish a lot together since we share the same goal: the academic success of the child.

Joyeaux Mardi Gras!

 

Any holiday involving pancakes is one in which our family readily partakes in. And today marks an extraordinary day in our Christian calendar, Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday.

For as long as I can remember, I have eaten a large plate of pancakes on this day.  Growing up Episcopalian, we usually ate this feast in the parish hall of our church. My mother handing out plates piled high of doughy pancakes as the fathers, including my own, were lined up in front of the stove and portable griddles making tons more. Lots of kids running around, in and out of the playground. This holiday was a perennial favourite - an evening to goof off from homework and chores - and to prepare for the days ahead.

Otherwise known as Shrove Tuesday, the last night of getting rid of rich fatty foods, indulging in guilty pleasures and staying up late before the penitential season of Lent begins the next day, on Ash Wednesday.

Usually on Sunday before this day, my mother would remind me that I was to select something to give up for Lent.  While most of the time I gave up something simple such as candy or Dr. Pepper, as I grew older, my mother encouraged me to give up nasty habits such as hair twirling, saying 'um, like, you know' and reading Tiger Beat. She also reminded me that if I broke my vow, I would need to place a quarter in the offering box to bring on Easter.

Needless to say, this offering box was rather full come Easter.

Whilst this popular practice of giving up one thing during the Lenten season was definitely daunting on me, I continued the practice throughout my life and foisted the ritual on roommates and boyfriends even if they were Jewish. I created a sort of game from the tradition - exchanging the punishing payment of the quarter to other things such as cleaning the toilet or fetching me stuff from the market. In many instances, as the others caught on, we tried to outdo each other in our plan to reduce our sins and indulgences.

As it stands today, while our kids usually come up with the similar removal of treats and habits, some have broken bad behaviours such as swearing and remembering to brush their teeth. Our generation has definitely become one that is full of modern conveniences and extravagances - so learning to do without for a few weeks is a practice I am willing to support.  I trust this year that the members of our family will give up something that is personally important and that will be missed for the 40 days we are without.  Self-denial of a simple pleasure.  Self-restraint of an annoying habit. Going without will not reverse one to an austere livelihood. It is a small sacrifice to learn the value of abstinence.  It is wisdom that comes from bare places.

Father of Our Country

Experience teaches us that it is much easier to 

prevent an enemy from posting themselves 

than it is to dislodge them 

after they have got possession. 

 George Washington

The Good News

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, 

"You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings.

New Living Translation

Saturday Pictures from at the Blue Barn

Roll out the Welcome Mat

When it comes to middle school, many parents simply don't know what their role is once their student leaves elementary school. After spending so many years volunteering in the classroom and baking cookies, it's a wonder that so many parents may simply be feeling left out or missing that relationship with school and their child's teachers.

How many studies can we find that stress that parents must be involved at the school level as well as in their children's educational growth and development to have successful relationships? Sadly, once your child hits middle school, the report card is the first communication with middle school parents. How sad that qualified teachers and staff cannot utilise e-mail, Facebook and blogging to touch base with their parents and students. Most schools have a weekly newsletter or updated website, but is this enough to avoid the explosive damage when progress reports and class updates could be made readily available?

Look, the middle school years present stiff academic challenges for students - more homework, harder assignments like detailed reports and labs as well as concentrated textual academic material that many 6th graders have never seen before.  The academic performance of young adolescents is also affected by growth and developmental issues mired with social media, peer distractions, a preoccupation with friends and bouts of frustration or is it downright disinterest in their studies!?

Here's one thing I look for at our son's school: Are the teachers and staff surrounding my student experienced in behaviour and issues that define ten-to-fifteen year olds?  Have they learned tactics that are implemented within the classroom to deal with challenges head-on that promote disciplined study habits, navigation through coursework and lessons and organised skill-building sessions which cater to progressive developmental milestones?  And most importantly, do they make my son feel welcome at school by affirming his uniqueness and help him discover what he does best?

Parents and teachers need to regularly and consistently reach out to one another.  And it goes without saying that parents want to know that their child's teacher is competent and has had positive interactions within the classrooms.  Coming from a solid foundation of shared values will help parents find common ground in unfamiliar territory of dealing with the myriad of middle school issues.  And no one will argue with the virtues of fairness, honest effort and hard work.  However, when a teacher critiques a child's performance the force of this negativity impacts a student's performance.  And in most cases, the lines of communication with parents are destroyed severing the important school-home partnership.

To be quite candid, I feel that as parents we are discouraged from visiting our child's classrooms during the middle school years causing feelings of alienation and developing resentment. Short of volunteering in the cafeteria or front desk, there are not many opportunities to be of service close to the classroom setting once your child hits sixth grade.  It's a wonder a breakdown in communication between the school and parents is prevalent in many schools today.  

Wouldn't it be great if as parents we could support the school environment by sharing our expertise within the classroom or workshops with the students and teachers on an on-going basis?  With an available arena for teachers and parents to come together possibly with our students to work together as a cohesive team, all of our concerns could be offered allowing each student a much greater chance for success as well as serving the additional dual purpose of informing parents of the latest happenings and giving them a stronger sense of belonging to the community.

In order for students to make the most of their potential for academic success, it takes the whole school community to create an environment that stimulates learning and development. In a favourable learning environment, schools need to empathise with parents and likewise, parents must perceive their relationships with their child's teachers as meaningful which provides the opportunity to develop a basis for normal interactions and communication.  When implemented in earnest, that positive school climate can make the difference between wasted minds and lifelong learners.

What's for dinner!!

This baked chicken recipe is one of those recipes that every home cook should have in their menu planner. It uses a minimal amount of ingredients - chicken, olive oil, salt and pepper - and if you want gravy, chicken stock or white wine) - and is especially useful on those busy days when you are just too busy to get creative. My mother makes this chicken about once a month and usually serves it with mango chutney and Spanish rice.  It is also great with asparagus or broccoli.

Classic Baked Chicken Recipe

• Prep time: 5 minutes
• Cook time: 50 minutes

Ingredients

• 3 to 4 lbs of chicken {I like a mixture: 2 breasts, 2 thighs, 2 legs, 2 wings}
• Olive oil
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• 1/2 cup of chicken stock or white wine for the gravy

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Rinse chicken pieces in water and pat dry with paper towels. Coat the bottom of a roasting pan with olive oil. Rub some olive oil over all of the chicken pieces in the roasting pan. Sprinkle both sides of the chicken pieces with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Arrange the pieces skin-side up in the roasting pan so the largest pieces are in the center and there is a little room between pieces so they aren't crowded in the pan.

2. Cook for 30 minutes at 400°F. Then lower the heat to 350°F and cook for 10-30 minutes more (approximately 14 to 15 minutes per pound total cooking time) until juices run clear (not pink) when poked with a sharp knife or the internal temperature of the chicken breasts is 165°F and the thighs 170°. If your chicken pieces aren't browning to your satisfaction, I like to brush on a little butter and put them under the broiler for the last 5 minutes of cooking, until browned sufficiently.

3. Remove roasting pan from oven. Remove chicken from roasting pan to a serving plate. Tent with aluminum foil and let rest for 5 to 10 minutes before serving.

4. To make gravy for the chicken, take the roasting pan with its drippings and place on a medium setting on the stove top. Use a metal spatula to scrape up the drippings stuck to the bottom of the pan. Add a quarter cup of white wine or chicken stock to the pan to help deglaze the drippings from the pan.

Pour the wine/stock and dripping mixture into a small saucepan and heat on medium high to reduce to desired thickness. If you like your gravy super-thick, add a tablespoon of gravy flour and whisk.

What I love about this simple fail-safe method of preparing dinner - is that it provides me extra time to work around the house since the total cooking time is roughly 40 minutes. Most of the time when I serve this meal, I clean and prep the chicken early in the day - letting the olive oil, salt and pepper marinate the chicken pieces in a storage container. And the even easier part is that I get the kids to make the sides - Bon appetit!

Happy Saint Valentine's Day

 

To err is human; to forgive, divine.

Alexander Pope

Organising For Your Children

A lot of people ask me "Do you organise your children?".  And I answer, "No. I show them ways to be organised."

From a young age, they had chore charts, weekly homework lists and schedules.  As their mother, I truly had to stay on top of them to follow the chart or pick up their toys and supplies when they were done.   From the beginning, the biggest thing I did was to communicate that when we all work together or have a place for everything we have more time together as a family. This tactic seemed to help and set the groundwork for more detailed organisation such as classwork, project due dates and sports schedules. But nothing is perfect. Each child faces organising troubles from time to time. And we just sort it out as needed. 

Half to battle is keeping up with paperwork and supplies that are needed for each activity.  I have shared before my system for classroom/team sports paperwork management.  The Clipboard System.  To review - these clipboards hold the hard copies of syllabi, team schedules, classroom management plans and contact sheets.  When I need to check for information - without scrolling through all the e-mails, or pulling it up on the school website - I can grab the original off the one of the clipboards.

Since I am on the go most of the day - keeping myself organised for the myriad of activities I face is the other half of the battle. From a very young age - I used the Boat and Tote bag from L.L. Bean.  {Raise your hand if you remember the red, blue and green ones I carried through high school!}  Well, I still carry them, along with a couple from Tory Burch.  

Here I have a shelf full of bags loaded and ready to go marked by activity.  Clipped to the front is a handy check-off list or reminder.  Since I am often so pressed for time, using this system saves me a TON of migraine headaches.  Some of the activities are daily or weekly, so if I have them loaded and ready to roll - I am usually more prepared than necessary.

 And yes. I have to remind myself to sharpen my pencils. Don't judge!

On the Shelf

Get rewarded for your time - Catch up with Hello Magasine!

That's just dumb!

The other day, Mr. Blue Barn ran into a mother that we know who has two boys.  Knowing that one son suffers from a form of juvenile arthritis, he asked how things were going since he switched schools.  This poor mom went into a very lengthy story about how the local high school will not classify his condition as a strong need for accommodations within the classroom and went as far as to claim that the real reason her son was doing so poorly within the classroom setting was because he was lazy.

Of course, you know how this makes my blood boil. Difficulty in learning usually has its roots in one or more areas which can be either physical or cognitive.  First and foremost, any physical ailment has to be ruled out before you can delve into the myriad of areas of inefficient processing or thinking skills that may be in the way of academic success.  While I do not know all of the issues with this particular student, I know that her son is bright and appears to pay attention.  I also know that it is difficult for him to sit within the confines of an over-crowded classroom and break-down the material presented to him because of his constant management of juvenile arthritis.

Naturally, I could turn this post into a rant of why I hate this high school so much.  Time and time again, parents have informed me of the inadequate and inappropriate accommodations provided within the classroom setting.  It saddens me that students are continuously denied an education that successfully benefits them. While I am sure this parent asked for what was completely appropriate to strengthen her son's skills, she was still slapped in the face by the school psychologist who called her son lazy.

No teacher or psychologist should call any child lazy, and she should be called on that since it is unacceptable behaviour. Be aware that she's either going to deny saying it, or she'll say the word was taken out of context. Hopefully, she blurted the word out in front of other people so you can at least provide a solid frame of reference. Either way, the teacher needs to be aware that words have consequences, just like our kids have to be. If the teacher feels this way, certainly she has been trained to deal with an assorted list of learning disabilities. 

While I have given our friend a list of options that we tried that have been successful for our learners, it is not always easy trying to make changes or develop your own set of accommodations that will assist your student.  Here's one thing I have learned over the years that have helped me through these type of situations: not everyone learns the same way or at the same pace.  Some students learn better at home than in a classroom, while other strive to compete amongst their peers.  And all students have different strategies for monitoring their attention, organising their homework and preparing for tests. 

Sadly, so-called "lazy" students are wrongfully labeled and ignored because they appear unwilling to try hard to succeed.  And here we have a situation where teachers and professionals treat these students as if there is nothing more that is needed than to put more effort into their work.  While I am sure any student will greatly benefit from additional effort, the true tragedy lies in the fact that this student will soon live up to his lazy diagnosis which will sadly limit his choices for the rest of his life. Unless his mother intervenes. And I am positive she will.

The Good News

Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, 

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 

Romans 12:2

Saturday Pictures from at the Blue Barn

A Monthly Snapshot: THE THINGS I CARRY

1. L.L.Bean Boat & Tote Bag  2. PSAT/ACT Scores 

3. College guidance books 

4. Greenroom padfolio for college rep visits 

5. Greenroom clipboard with notes from admissions class 

6. College Catalogues 7. Contact info from colleges we like 

8. Contact info to pass along

rabbit, rabbit